


Four Days in Joburg

by AgtSpooky



Category: Strike Back
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 12:00:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6565312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgtSpooky/pseuds/AgtSpooky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanson was dead. Knox was dead. It was supposed to be over. But for Damien and Michael, things were only just beginning. The next four days would change everything between them. Will they leave South Africa having destroyed their friendship beyond repair or instead as partners in every sense of the word?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Days in Joburg

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why it took me multiple viewings of the season finale for me to notice it says FOUR DAYS LATER on the screen after Knox dies and before Michael and Damien meet Dalton in her hospital room. So it got me thinking…what did the boys get up to for those four days? Thus this story was born!

 

 

Hanson was dead.

 

Knox was dead.

 

Dalton was in the hospital recuperating from her gunshot wound.

 

Section 20 was in possession of the remaining nuclear triggers.

 

The mission was over.

 

Now all Damien Scott wanted to do was take a shower, get blind drunk with Michael and sleep for twelve hours straight. In that order.

 

First step was actually getting inside his hotel room. He inserted the key and wearily pushed open the door, giving an exhausted sigh as he walked inside, Michael Stonebridge close on his heels. He stepped aside as his partner moved past him, then closed the door behind them. Damien watched with concern as his friend headed straight for the connecting door between their rooms, then disappeared inside his own, leaving the door ajar.

 

Damien’s jaw muscle twitched. He was worried about Michael. He hadn’t spoken a word in the last few hours. After what Michael had been through these last several weeks, he was a powder keg ready to blow. And when he did, Damien would be there to pick up the pieces. Because that’s what partners – friends – did.

 

With another sigh, Damien tossed his key down on the bed, followed by his gun, then proceeded to strip down to his bare skin, leaving his dirty, bloodstained clothes in a heap on the floor. He smirked as he thought about the look on the hotel staff’s face when he sent them down for dry cleaning.

 

Damien made his way across the room, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror above the small desk next to the bathroom door. He and Michael had gotten somewhat cleaned up at the hospital, after Damien insisted his partner get checked out after his brutal fight with Hanson, but he was still dirty and smeared with dried blood. His skin itched to get clean.

 

As he stepped into the shower he heard Michael’s turn on, directly on the other side of the wall. A moment later hot water was cascading down upon Damien, washing away the grime, and this fucked up mission. He braced his hands on the wall and hung his head, letting the water flow over him for a long moment, the hot water and the steam helping to ease his aching muscles. He straightened up and grabbed for the soap, lathering up his bruised and battered body. His cuts and abrasions stung as the soap cleaned out the dirt, but he counted himself lucky he hadn’t ended up with a bullet to the gut like Dalton had. Or one in the head like Sinclair. He paused and closed his eyes briefly, remembering the Major. Sinclair was a good man who didn’t deserve his fate. He and Michael would be drinking to his memory tonight.

 

Damien lingered for a few minutes longer before finally turning off the water. The flow had no more than ceased when he heard a harsh, strangled yell followed by the sound of breaking glass, coming from Michael’s room. All senses instantly on alert, adrenaline surging through his body, Damien raced from the bathroom, grabbing his gun instead of a towel and barreled through the adjoining doorway, dripping wet. Heart pounding, he scanned the room with his gaze and his weapon, ready for an intruder, but instead pulled up short at what he did see.

 

Michael was standing with his back to Damien, still wet from his shower as well, with a small towel tied loosely around his waist. He was standing in front of the small desk, his hands braced on the edge, gripping tightly, his head hanging, his body shaking. Half of the mirror was shattered, the pieces scattered over the top of the desk, a few on the floor.

 

The fuse on the powder keg had been lit.

 

Damien put his gun down on the bedside table and moved quietly toward his partner. He wondered what Michael had seen in the reflection. Anger? Grief? Or was it Kerry? Or Hanson?

 

He opened his mouth to say his partner’s name, when Michael suddenly straightened up, his hand clenching into a fist and his arm drawing back to take another swing at the undamaged part of the mirror. He let out another yell, but Damien was there beside him and caught his wrist, halting his motion. Michael whipped his head toward Damien, jaw clenched, and instantly tried to pull out of his grasp.

 

Damien shook his head, his voice gentle but firm. “Mike. No.”

 

Michael struggled for a moment anyway, his face a mask of repressed emotion.

 

Damien’s heart was breaking for his tortured friend. “For fuck’s sake, Mike, let it out before it tears you apart.”

 

And just like that, the fight went out of his partner. Damien watched as Michael’s expression crumbled, his body sagging. Without hesitation, Damien pulled Michael to him. Michael’s head came down on his shoulder and Damien cupped the back of his neck, his other arm wrapping around Michael’s back as Michael’s hands gripped Damien’s waist.

 

Michael let go then, his body shaking as he cried, purging his body of his grief and anger and pain, everything he’d been holding in since Kerry’s death. Damien held him as he broke down, swallowing past the lump of emotion in his own throat, feeling the sting of tears in his own eyes.

 

A short while later Michael began to settle, his breathing evening back out. Damien rubbed his hand on Michael’s back, the skin still damp, felt Michael’s hands flex against his own wet skin, one of which traveled up from his waist to rest in the middle of his back. Michael lifted his head then, his hazel eyes red rimmed, tear tracks on his cheeks.

 

A strange expression crossed his partner’s face as he looked at Damien, but before Damien could decipher all the emotions he saw there, Michael’s mouth descended upon his in a bruising, demanding kiss, hands gripping at Damien’s bare skin. Caught completely off guard, Damien gasped in shock, all the opening Michael needed to slip his tongue inside Damien’s mouth.

 

Damien would bet everything he owned that Michael had never been with a man before. So he knew without a doubt that come morning they would never talk about this again. Even if this was a one-off, after two years of wet dreams about his partner, Damien would take this one moment of reality. But more importantly – and Damien could sense the desperation in Michael’s kiss – if this is what his partner needed in his time of grief, just to be close to someone for comfort, for simple human touch to erase the pain and just forget for a little while, Damien would gladly give it to him.

 

He was under no illusion that this meant anything to Michael. That _he_ meant anything to Michael. He could have been Julia instead and Michael would most likely be doing the same thing.

 

He returned the kiss with equal fervor, sliding his tongue against Michael's, swallowing down his partner's groan. He cupped his hand around the back of Michael's head as Michael pulled the towel from his waist and pressed himself fully against Damien, hips rolling, rutting up against Damien. It was Damien's turn to moan as he felt Michael's heat, all centered in his groin, felt Michael's cock start to harden and lengthen against his own as he continued to rock against him.

 

Damien pulled back from the kiss, took Michael's face between his hands, his voice low, breathing hard. "What do you need, Mike? Tell me."

 

“This. You. Please.” Michael choked out the three words, voice breaking.

 

Damien nodded and it was the acceptance Michael was waiting for, that Damien was on board with this sudden turn of events. He slanted his mouth across Damien's again and they stumbled back the short distance to the bed, where they tumbled down upon it. Michael turned them so that he was on top and Damien didn't protest. Michael captured Damien’s mouth once more and began rolling his hips again, pushing down hard, sliding his cock against Damien's, seeking blessed friction against slick, wet skin. Damien reached down and grabbed Michael's ass with both hands, fingers gripping tightly, encouraging Michael's movements. Michael groaned into the kiss and rutted faster, harder against Damien. Damien's head was spinning and he could barely breathe, Michael a hot, heavy weight covering him, but he wanted him closer, wanted…more. Wanted everything that Michael was willing to give. Just once.

 

He felt his orgasm start to build low in his gut as Michael continued to thrust against him, rubbing their cocks together over and over. Determined to watch and feel Michael come apart before he did, Damien relaxed the grip of one his hands, sliding it over, his fingers dipping down the crack of Michael's ass, searching for the small, puckered muscle. Target found, Damien rubbed against it, pushing slightly.

 

The reaction was instantaneous. Michael’s entire body jerked and he lifted his head with a gasp. He caught Damien’s gaze for a brief second, hazel eyes blown wide, before squeezing them shut, still thrusting against Damien’s body. Encouraged, Damien rubbed harder against the muscle, the tip of his finger barely pushing past the tight ring.

 

It was the final stimulation Michael needed. His body froze a moment before he came with a harsh, guttural shout that was part sob. His warm release splashed onto Damien’s stomach and Damien let go then with his own sharp gasp of completion, his release mixing with Michael’s as his cock pulsed.

 

Damien held Michael close as his partner shook through his climax, his head buried against Damien’s shoulder, the wetness there now from silent tears. A few minutes later Michael rolled from Damien’s body and laid beside him. Damien could see the utter exhaustion on Michael’s face, in his eyes. And also the realization setting in of what they’d just done. It wasn’t a conversation Damien wanted to have at that moment, so when Michael opened his mouth to speak, Damien shook his head.

 

“Not right now, Mike,” he said quietly. “Just get some rest, okay?”

 

Michael hesitated for a long moment before nodding his head. “Copy that,” he breathed before letting his eyes slide closed.

 

Damien watched Michael sleep for several minutes before looking up at the ceiling, a million thoughts tumbling through his head. But before he could settle on one, his own exhaustion won out and he joined his partner in slumber.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Damien made good on that promise to himself and slept for a solid twelve hours, the early afternoon sunshine peeking in through the curtains finally rousing him. He blinked heavily and stretched, feeling dried wetness pulling at the skin on his stomach. And just like that, the events of the previous night came flooding back. He turned his head to the right…and found an empty bed. Michael was gone.

 

Damien sighed heavily. “Shit,” he breathed, closing his eyes and rubbing his hands over his face. He sighed again before sitting up and rolling from the bed. He swiped his hand over his stomach, the dried evidence of last night flaking off as he made his way to the shower.

 

Damien noticed the connecting door between their rooms was closed now, and he couldn’t hear any movement inside Michael’s room. Another worrying sign. That he was trying to put distance between himself and Damien.

 

Thoughts tumbled through Damien’s head as he showered, the utmost being the hope that what he and Michael had done hadn’t driven a wedge between them if Michael wasn’t able to process it. He couldn’t lose his partner over this. It was just one friend helping another. They both needed to compartmentalize this and move on. It’s not like it was going to happen again.

 

Damien steadfastly refused to acknowledge the part of his brain that replayed the memories of holding Michael, kissing Michael…and wanting that “again”.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Dressed in fresh clothes after his shower, Damien knocked on the adjoining door before opening it, relieved that it wasn’t locked.

 

“Mike?” he called out. “You in here, buddy?”

 

His answer only silence, Damien walked inside Michael’s room and looked around, finding it empty. At least Michael wasn’t sitting there just refusing to answer him. But where was he? Again, not a good sign.

 

He noticed the shattered mirror was still on the wall, the shards of broken glass still scattered over the desktop and on the floor. Damien spent the next several minutes taking down the mirror and carefully cleaning up the pieces of glass, all the while wondering how many pieces Michael was in.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Finding himself at loose ends without his partner, several hours later Damien finally left the hotel and headed for the crib, no other destination he could think of. He was hoping Michael would be there as well.

 

The building was a hive of activity when Damien arrived, Section 20 soldiers busy dismantling their headquarters, getting ready to head back to London before regrouping and redeploying for their next mission. Which thankfully Michael and Damien would not be a part of. They had weeks of leave ahead of them.

 

Damien spotted both Richmond and Baxter, dressed in fatigues, packing up computer equipment, but Michael was nowhere to be found.

 

Richmond smiled and shook her head as Damien approached. “You, too? You boys just can’t stay away even though you don’t need to be here. Careful, or I’ll hand you a box to fill.”

 

Damien looked quickly around. “Michael’s here?”

 

“No, he left a little while ago,” she answered. “He was looking for something on the table in the briefing room. He read through a file and left.” She cocked her head to the side. “Is everything okay?”

 

“Yeah, yeah,” Damien lied, looking over at the briefing room, spying a large black duffel bag and a small stack of file folders. “Thanks, Julia,” he replied distractedly, turning and walking away, curiosity getting the better of him. What would’ve prompted Michael to come here? What was he looking for?

 

As soon as he approached the table Damien realized what he was looking at. These were Christy Bryant’s things. The bag she’d been packing when Damien interrupted her at the apartment she was staying at…and her intel. There were folders for Knox, the Nigerians, that lawyer Lucas…and Damien. His classified CIA file. The papers in his folder were slightly askew, and Damien knew without a doubt that this is what Michael had been looking for, what he’d been reading. Damien was unsure how he felt about Michael digging into his past, mainly because he didn’t know his motivation for doing so.

 

Unable to stop himself, Damien flipped through his file, a laundry list of his kills – pages with photos of his targets, dates, assassination methods. Years of memories of doing the CIA’s dirty work crashed over him, threatening to crush him until he couldn’t breathe. Chest tight, heart slamming in his chest, Damien threw down his file and tore out of the crib and out onto the street, needing air. Needing to escape his past.

 

But he had opened the metaphorical box and his demons followed him as he walked aimlessly, faces of the dead swirling in his head. There was only one thing he knew for certain would work when the memories got the better of him. Alcohol. And lots of it.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was the middle of the night when Damien arrived back at the hotel. He slumped heavily against his door and fumbled with the key. Three tries later the door finally opened and Damien practically fell inside, wondering how the hell he even made it there in his condition.

 

After he left the crib he headed for one of the many seeder parts of Johannesburg, his anger at what the CIA had turned him into growing with each step he took. He needed an outlet for it, and that alcohol. As he got close to the first bar he came across he heard the sounds of shouting and breaking glass. Perfect.

 

He wasted no time in getting completely hammered. And since he was already spoiling for a fight it didn’t take long to purposely antagonize the wrong people and soon fists, and furniture, started flying.

 

The first punch Damien landed was for fucking Christy Bryant. For coming back into his life and raising ghosts that should’ve remained buried. For forcing him to bare his soul, and his shame, in front of his teammates.

 

The next punch was for that bitch Dalton. For her constant deception and for putting Bravo Team in unnecessary danger time and again. For getting Sinclair killed.

 

The third punch was for Rebecca. For nearly making him kill her instead of just walking away and taking the out he gave her.

 

And the last punch was for that bastard Hanson. For Mike and for Kerry. For killing a kind, innocent woman whom he had truly liked, and for causing his partner unimaginable grief.

 

Damien swiped at the cut above his eye that had just about stopped bleeding. He’d gotten that at the second bar he’d gone to. Or maybe it was the third. He felt the skin stretch over his scraped and swollen knuckles as he flexed his hand, gingerly touching his jaw that was probably already sporting a dark bruise. Now that he’d gotten at the first bar. Well, almost positive, anyway.

 

Still drunk, Damien closed his eyes and propped himself up against the dresser until the room stopped spinning. Then he shed his alcohol and bloodstained clothes like a snake shedding its skin as he staggered over to the bed, falling down on it completely naked. He had just enough energy to crawl under the sheets before he felt himself start to pass out. His last thought was that he wished he felt better after purging himself of his anger with the physical violence, but all he’d done was swap it for sadness and a hollow feeling deep inside.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

_They were surrounding his bed. His victims. Everyone he had killed in cold blood over seven years. There were so many of them. Staring at him with dead, sunken eyes. Some with bullet holes in their heads, chests. Others burned or missing a limb from a car bomb. And still others with knife slashes across their throats._

_Damien watched, frozen, as they all raised their left hand, pointing at him, accusing._

_“You killed us all. You’re a monster. Murderer. Murderer,” they chanted as one._

_Damien shook his head, tried to speak and couldn’t. Because they were right._

_Then in front of him they parted and a small boy appeared. His clothes were in tatters, his skin burned, tear tracks running through the dirt on his face._

_“Why me?” he asked Damien. “What did I do? Why I did I have to die?”_

_Damien found his voice then, an anguished, tortured cry. He reached out desperately. “No! Daniel! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”_

 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Damien’s hand wrapped around a wrist, the physical contact pulling him partly from his nightmare. Still half asleep, he pulled the person closer. “Daniel?” he gasped.

 

But it was Michael’s voice that answered. “No mate, it’s me,” he said quietly. “I heard you shouting. Are you all right?”

 

Damien sagged, coming fully awake, felt his eyes fill with moisture. “He was there. They were all there. I killed them all…” he choked out, his throat tight.

 

Michael gently hooked a hand around the back of Damien’s neck and brought their foreheads together. That one touch, that one gesture was all it took and the floodgates opened. This time it was Damien’s turn to let his guard down, to break down in front of his one true friend. The only person he felt safe enough with to do so.

 

Michael pulled him closer as Damien’s head dropped to his shoulder, burying his face against Michael’s warm skin as he cried, his arms coming around Michael’s bare back. Long moments later as Damien’s tears subsided, he felt Michael run one of his hands lightly up and down his back. It was meant to be calming, but Damien shivered and raised his head.

 

Michael turned to look at him and Damien kissed him hard. He felt Michael freeze for a split second and Damien thought he was going to pull away. But instead he returned the kiss with equal hunger. Michael opened his mouth, granting Damien entrance and their tongues did sensuous battle as the kiss deepened. All Damien wanted to do was to stop thinking about the dead, to lose himself in Michael instead. This time it was him who needed the comfort, the human touch.

 

And Michael seemed glad to give it, pulling Damien even closer with one hand, while Damien felt the other slip under the sheet. Then Michael’s hand was on his bare thigh, trailing across until the backs of his fingers brushed against Damien’s heavy balls. Damien shivered again and moved his hips, wanting more, wanting Michael’s touch. And then he had it, Michael’s large hand wrapping around his half hard cock, giving a short upwards stroke. Damien groaned deeply into the kiss in encouragement and Michael continued the stimulation, Damien feeling himself harden and lengthen in Michael’s palm.

 

Michael may have never touched another man before, but he knew how to touch himself and used that knowledge on Damien’s cock, bringing Damien to full erection in a matter of moments. Damien broke the kiss, breathing hard, as Michael continued to stroke him, faster now. He felt himself release a burst of precome as Michael pressed his thumb against the bundle of nerves on the underside of his cock and he moaned at the sensation.

 

“Mike,” he panted, pulling the sheet away with one hand so he could look down at Michael touching him. “Christ…feels so fucking good…don’t stop…”

 

When he looked back up, Michael’s eyes were blown wide with desire and he pinned Damien with his gaze for a long moment before swallowing hard and suddenly dropping to his knees beside the bed, pulling at Damien’s legs.

 

“Shit…” Damien breathed, his arousal spiking off the chart when he realized what Michael was going to do.

 

Michael looked up at him for just a second as he settled between Damien’s spread legs and Damien could see he wanted this, too. And then his mouth was on Damien’s cock, his tongue pressing up against it.

 

“Fuck me…” Damien swore, one of his hands falling on Michael’s shoulder, the other lightly on the back of Michael’s head.

 

Michael was tentative for a moment, like Damien had been the first time he’d given Bobby Collins a blowjob under the bleachers in high school, the taste and feel of a cock strange and foreign. But so damn good.

 

And Michael must have agreed, as he opened his mouth wider and took more of Damien in. Damien hissed as his cock was enveloped in tight, wet heat, then shuddered as Michael began sucking, bobbing his head up and down without hesitation. Again, his partner knew what he liked when he was on the receiving end of a blowjob and was going to do the same for Damien.

 

One of Michael’s hands quickly joined his mouth, stroking as he sucked and Damien’s head fell back in pleasure at the sensation, his grip tightening on Michael’s shoulder. He felt his cock throb as Michael’s tongue pressed against the head and dipped into the slit, drawing another burst of precome from Damien.

 

“Fuck, Mike…just like that…” he encouraged, voice rough with desire.

 

He looked back down, wanting to watch, and saw Michael’s other hand drop down between his own legs. Michael shifted slightly then his arm started moving quickly. He was touching himself, getting himself off at the same time. That hit Damien hard, that Michael was as turned on by this as he was and he sucked in a sharp breath as he felt his climax instantly start to surge up his spine. He wanted to fight against it, to prolong the pleasure, but at the same time he wanted nothing more than to come in Michael’s mouth.

 

He groaned deeply as Michael continued to stimulate him and his desire to come won out. He felt his cock throb hard, releasing one last stream of precome as his orgasm started to roll through him.

 

“Mike…now…I’m…” Damien ground out, squeezing his eyes closed, his hand flexing against Michael’s shoulder.

 

And then he was shouting out as his climax crashed over him like a tidal wave, his cock pulsing. He felt Michael swallow once and then pull off, raising up his head. Damien opened his eyes to watch Michael continue to stroke him, Damien’s release coating his stomach and Michael’s hand.

 

“Oh fuck,” he panted, watching himself come. He reached for Michael but his partner was already there, surging up Damien’s body, pushing them both back up onto the bed. Michael stripped off his briefs, then leaned over Damien, his uncut cock jutting out from his body. He reached for it but Damien knocked his hand away, wrapping his own around it instead, stroking hard and fast. Michael groaned sharply then crushed his mouth against Damien’s, and Damien tasted himself on Michael’s tongue as they kissed hungrily.

 

It only took a few pulls on Michael’s cock and his partner was coming, his release splashing down onto Damien’s stomach to mix with his own. Michael broke the kiss then with a sharp cry of completion as Damien stroked him through it, before lowering himself down next to Damien, spent.

 

They lay there quietly, but a riot of thoughts tumbled through Damien’s head as he looked at Michael, who looked back with an expression too mixed for Damien to read. There were so many things he wanted to say, so many things they needed to talk about. But his body had other ideas. The bar fights, the copious amounts of alcohol still in his system, his disturbing nightmare and now a powerful orgasm. He felt the exhaustion sweeping up over him and couldn’t stop it. He had just enough energy to reach over and wrap his fingers around Michael’s wrist.

 

“Stay…” he whispered, right before his eyes slid closed.

 

But in the morning, Michael was gone.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Damien walked back into the crib that afternoon, once again having nowhere else to go, tired of waiting for Michael to show back up at the hotel. He looked around, hoping to spy his partner here, but no luck. Richmond saw him and hurried over, concern on her face.

 

“Hey, is everything okay?” she asked. “You ran out of here yesterday like someone was chasing you.” She reached up and touched the bruise on his jaw, saw the small cut above his eye. “What the hell happened to you?”

 

“Nothing. I’m fine,” he lied quickly. The look Richmond gave him called him on his bullshit but she didn’t press him. “Have you seen Mike today?”

 

Richmond shook her head. “Not today.” She furrowed her brow. “What’s going on with you two? I’d have thought you’d be off together enjoying your downtime.” She paused. “Oh, is it Michael? I know this has been rough on him. Is he all right?”

 

“Mike’s fine,” Damien lied again. “He’s…dealing.”

 

Richmond slowly nodded her head, her expression again one of doubt. “Are you busy?” She hooked her thumb over her shoulder. “Baxter and I were about to go get something to eat.”

 

Baxter looked up from the computer equipment he was packing up. “Yeah, mate, join us.”

 

Damien shrugged his shoulders. “Why not?” Then he winked at Richmond. “But you’re buying.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Damien sat down on the park bench and sighed wearily. He leaned back and fished his lighter and pack of cigarettes out of his pants pocket. He lit up and took a long drag before blowing out the smoke and letting it drift away, like he wished he could do with the thoughts weighing heavily on his mind.

 

Going out with Baxter and Julia had been a welcome distraction. They never had time to simply socialize, what with bullets flying at them and the threat of nuclear war hanging over their heads. He was glad he got to know Baxter a little better while they talked and ate and drank. He was a good kid. He was going to go far in Section 20.

 

He’d left them both back at the crib where they had just a few final things to box up, and then Damien was alone again. He wandered for several blocks before coming across this small park, where this bench under a tree provided some much needed shade from the heat still lingering in the late afternoon hours.

 

He looked around as he smoked, watching several children laugh and run, playing a game of tag. A woman was walking her dog and a couple strolled by, hand in hand. A tall man with short light brown hair and sunglasses, wearing a black t-shirt and jeans appeared off to Damien’s left and for a split second he thought it was his partner.

 

Damien crushed his cigarette butt under his boot and sighed again. Michael.

 

He’d been attracted to the tall, handsome, stoic, no nonsense Brit since about five minutes after they’d met. He’d fantasized more than once what it would be like to have Michael in bed. What his bare skin would feel like under his fingers, how he would taste, the sounds he would make.

 

But they were just dreams, and because that’s all they were he never stopped to think about what would happen if they became reality. How it would affect him afterwards, what he would feel. And he was feeling he wanted more with Michael, not just sex. It was like a dam had broken inside him and he realized his feelings for his partner ran much deeper than he realized. Damien wasn’t one to form attachments. Ever. He learned at a young age that people always leave. Mom. Dad. Brothers. So for him to _want_ to be with someone…

 

Then he stopped himself before he went too far down that road of thought. Because he had no idea what Michael’s mindset was right now. The fact that he was leaving in the middle of the night and then avoiding Damien during the day didn’t bode well for the prospect of a real relationship between them. He should just be glad that his fantasy had come true, that he had Michael briefly and let it go.

 

But how do you have a taste of something so good and not want more?

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Damien drained his glass of whiskey and set it on the small table next to the chair he was sitting on out on his hotel balcony. It was late and he was tired and he’d had far too much to drink. Again. Richmond had called earlier to let him know that he needed to pick a destination for his leave so she could make travel arrangements for him before Section 20 shipped out in two days. He’d hoped he’d be spending it with Michael in some exotic location like Bora Bora. But now…

 

“Shit,” he breathed, rubbing his hands over his face before levering himself up and walking back into his room.

 

He closed the balcony door behind him and turned off the light, using the moonlight to guide him over to the bed. He undressed down to his briefs and climbed under the sheets. He’d no more than closed his eyes when he heard Michael’s hotel room door open and close, then his partner walking across the room. He looked over to the connecting door, which was still closed, as Michael had left it.

 

Damien was sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed, intending to confront his partner and get all this out in the open when he stopped himself. It was Michael that was doing the running, not him. He needed Michael to approach him first. Because he knew from experience if you pushed Michael he shut down. So has hard as it was, he would wait for Michael to come through that door.

 

He fell asleep still waiting.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Damien woke sometime later when he felt the mattress dip next to him. He blinked open his eyes and saw Michael, naked, illuminated in the moonlight, lifting up the sheet and sliding into bed beside him.

 

“Mi—“ he started, but then Michael was kissing him.

 

Damien immediately knew this time was going to be different, from that first touch of Michael’s mouth on his. The previous two times they had been desperate to purge themselves of anger, grief and pain. It had been hard and fast.

 

But now…Michael’s kiss was soft and unhurried, his lips warm and dry against Damien’s. Their mouths parted to come back together at the same languid pace. Damien ran a hand up Michael’s bare back and tugged him closer, tangling their legs together. Damien could feel Michael’s heat, pooling in his groin, same as his own, growing slowly this time as they continued to kiss.

 

Damien ran the tip of his tongue across Michael’s lower lip and Michael opened for him. Their tongues slid against one another and Damien sighed into the kiss as it deepened. He flexed his hand against Michael’s back, sliding it down to the swell of Michael’s ass, as one of Michael’s hands trailed across his chest. His fingers brushed across one of Damien’s nipples and Damien hummed encouragingly into the kiss.

 

Michael lifted his head then, pulling back slowly from the kiss. His hazel eyes were wide, his lips wet. Damien reached up and lay a hand against the side of his face, rubbed a thumb across his cheekbone. Michael closed his eyes and leaned into Damien’s touch before dipping his head down and kissing the side of Damien’s neck.

 

Damien closed his own eyes then with a sigh as Michael’s mouth moved downwards, almost tentatively, to his chest. He kissed across Damien’s pec to his nipple, where he hesitated for a moment, his fingers just brushing over it. Damien hummed again and Michael bent his head and licked across the small nub. Damien groaned and Michael repeated the action, sucking gently this time. The stimulation went straight down to Damien’s hardening cock and his body jerked, pushing his groin against Michael’s.

 

Michael lifted his head then and Damien captured his mouth, the intensity of the kiss growing. He rolled them so that he was leaning over Michael now. It was his turn to explore the body under him. He moved back from the kiss, felt both himself and Michael breathing harder now. He dropped his head and kissed behind Michael’s ear, his lips wet against Michael’s skin. He felt his partner shiver, one hand coming up to rest against the back of Damien’s head.

 

Damien moved downwards along the long column of Michael’s neck, to where it met his shoulder. He bit gently before licking away the sting, tasting the salt of Michael’s skin. Michael jerked at the nip and flexed his fingers in Damien’s short hair. Damien continued his exploration with his mouth and hands, trailing across the smooth expanse of Michael’s well defined chest. He licked and sucked on one of Michael’s nipples while his fingers teased it’s twin to pebble hardness. Michael groaned at the stimulation, pushing his head back into the pillow, as he pushed his hips upwards.

 

Then it was Damien’s turn to groan as he felt Michael’s hard cock sliding against his own cloth covered one. Damien lifted his head and they rocked against one another, the slow build up now increasing. Michael tugged at the waistband of Damien’s briefs and Damien moved away just long enough to strip them down and off his legs, along with the sheet. Then he was leaning over Michael again, his partner’s heat so intense now against his bare skin. They rocked against one another harder now and Damien felt the wetness of his precome mix with Michael’s as their cocks rubbed together. Michael kissed him deeply and it took effort for Damien to pull back. He wasn’t done mapping Michael’s body yet.

 

He slid down, his hands skimming across Michael’s sides, raising goosebumps in their wake. He kissed his way down the center of Michael’s chest, feeling how quickly his partner’s heart was beating, his short breaths. His mouth trailed a path to Michael’s navel, to the thin line of hair just below it, until his chin bumped the head of Michael’s uncut cock.

 

He raised his head then and caught Michael’s gaze. His partner’s eyes were dark and full of desire, his expression one of anticipation. Damien didn’t make him wait. He looked back down and without preamble, eased the foreskin down and took as much of Michael’s erection into his mouth as he could. Immediately Michael’s most intimate taste exploded across his tongue and Damien groaned around the thick length.

 

“Oh shit…” he heard Michael breathe, his hands falling heavily onto Damien’s shoulders.

 

Damien wasted no time, wanting to make Michael fall apart, to hear the sounds he would make, eager to feel Michael come in his mouth. He bobbed his head, sucking hard and fast, one of his hands stroking the hard length as well. Michael’s cock was steel wrapped in satin, so warm against Damien’s tongue. He dipped his tongue into the slit, drawing out more precome which he swallowed down. He pressed against the bundle of nerves just below the swollen head and Michael gasped sharply.

 

“More…Damien…” Michael’s voice was low and deep and it made Damien shiver.

 

Michael’s hands were gripping his shoulders harder now, his partner’s body trying to shift restlessly beneath him, hips trying to thrust upwards and push his cock further into Damien’s mouth.

 

“Oh fuck…oh fuck…” Michael rambled and Damien knew he was close. Hell, Damien could feel his own orgasm building already, so aroused by Michael’s reactions that he was causing.

 

His mouth continued to suck while his hand dropped down lower, to cup Michael’s warm, heavy sac. He rolled his balls in his palm before tugging gently, pulling downwards. It was the final stimulation Michael needed. Damien felt Michael’s entire body tense, his partner’s sudden, sharp cry the only warning he had before Michael’s release flooded his mouth. Michael’s cock pulsed against his tongue and Damien swallowed down the first two long bursts before pulling off. He watched in erotic fascination as Michael came, stroking his partner through his orgasm, his release painting his stomach, Michael’s expression now one of pure ecstasy.

 

A bolt of white hot arousal tore through Damien at the sight and he felt his climax race up his spine. He surged up Michael’s body, kissing him fiercely as he rutted against him hard and fast, his cock sliding through his partner’s release. One, two, three thrusts was all it took and Damien fell over the edge. Michael swallowed down his cry of completion as he wrapped his arms around Damien, holding him close as he shook.

 

Long moments later, when their breathing finally slowed they let the kiss gentle and end before Damien reluctantly moved off of Michael’s body, to rest on his side, facing him.

 

Michael looked overwhelmed and uncertain, and for Damien, it was like looking at a mirror image of himself, the first time he’d been with a man. Saw the same desire and confusion he had felt, too, as if he didn’t understand why he was here, why he was feeling this way, but at the same time he needed to be, _wanted_ to be there.

 

They lay there in the moonlight, not speaking, until Michael finally closed his eyes and rested his head against Damien’s chest. Damien blew out an uneven breath, closing his eyes as well, more adrift and confused than he’d ever felt in his life, the longer Michael remained silent about what he was thinking and feeling.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

This time Damien was ready when Michael tried to slip from the bed an hour later. He reached out and snagged his partner’s wrist, startling Michael, who quickly looked over his shoulder.

 

“What’re we doing, Mike?” Damien said quietly.

 

The question clearly made Michael uncomfortable. “I would think that’s fairly obvious,” Michael answered, trying for a flippant tone and failing miserably.

 

Damien sat up, looking at his partner steadily, voice serious. “You know I'm the king of casual sex. But not with you. I can't. The last few nights we were both hurting. We both needed this. But not tonight. You came in here because you wanted it.”

 

Michael glanced away at that and Damien paused for a moment. “I know you don't have any experience with this. So if this is just you being curious now, using me as an experiment, then this has to end when we leave Johannesburg. Because you're the only real, true friend I've ever had and you, and our friendship, mean too damn much to me to screw it up with sex.”

 

Michael looked back at him then and Damien spread his hands out. “I just need to know what you want from me. Because I want more than this with you.” He saw Michael swallow hard at Damien’s confession. “You don't have to answer me now. Just think about it, okay?”

 

Michael was utterly still for a long heartbeat before he slowly nodded his head. For a brief moment Damien was hopeful his words had gotten through to Michael and that he would stay this time. But instead, Michael rose and walked away and Damien’s stomach plummeted with each step he took, believing he had Michael’s answer right there.

 

Damien cursed himself as the door closed behind his partner. He said he wasn’t going to push and he did it anyway. Question was, had he pushed Michael right out of his life?

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The sun was just beginning to set later that evening when Damien heard the familiar footfalls of his partner behind him. He turned from his observation of the South African landscape as Michael joined him on the balcony. It was the first he’d seen of him since Michael walked away from him that morning, once again pulling his disappearing act during the day.

 

Michael nodded at him as he stepped up beside him. “Hey.”

 

Damien inclined his head as well. “Hey.”

 

An awkward, uncomfortable silence descended upon them as they stared at one another. Damien was reaching for his pack of cigarettes, simply for something to do, when Michael finally spoke.

 

“Everything that’s happened in the last few weeks,” Michael began, a slight waver in his voice. “I’m mixed up right now, Damien.”

 

Damien felt his heart clench in his chest at Michael’s words. He looked away, out at the skyline, the setting sun. He’d hoped…but he should’ve known better. Michael was just confused and hurting and the sex was just about release and experimentation. Nothing more. Nothing deeper. He hadn’t realized until this moment how much he’d wanted a chance at a relationship with Michael. And now he’d never have it. He hoped that at least their friendship could be salvaged.

 

“But not about this.”

 

Damien quickly turned his head, feeling his heart give a sharp thump as Michael moved closer to him.

 

“It’s the one thing that’s clear now,” Michael continued. “The one thing that makes sense in this fucked up life we live. I want this, Damien. I want you. I finally admitted to myself that I have for quite awhile. I wouldn’t acknowledge it because it scared me. It still does.” He paused. “But losing Kate and Kerry…it drove home how short life is. And I don’t want to waste another minute. Even though I have no idea what I’m doing,” he finished with a smile.

 

Damien swallowed hard, trying to process what Michael was saying. That this was happening. That Michael wanted it to happen.

 

“I know we jumped into the deep end of the pool first, but we can slow things down if you want,” he told Michael.

 

His partner pinned him with a look filled with sudden heat and hunger and stepped even closer.

 

“Maybe after tonight,” Michael answered, his voice a low rumble that sent a shiver down Damien’s spine.

 

Then Michael’s mouth was on his, hard and demanding.

 

Things escalated instantly. Hands gripping, mouths slanting across one another, harsh, panting breaths. Michael backed Damien up and pinned him against the balcony wall, hips rolling, pushing their groins together. Damien groaned into the kiss and grasped Michael’s ass with both of his hands, squeezing, trying to pull Michael even closer. He felt Michael’s cock start to harden and lengthen against his own, trapped in his jeans, and he broke the kiss, breathing hard.

 

“Unless you’re gonna fuck me out here and give everyone a show, we’d better move this inside,” Damien winked at Michael.

 

Michael looked taken aback at Damien’s words, his eyes widening.

 

Damien laughed at his expression. “You’re in the batter’s box, Mikey. There’s no way I can go slow with you, not right now, not tonight. But you don’t need to with me.”

 

And there was that look again on Michael’s face – nervous anticipation mixed with desire.

 

Damien nodded his head, feeling heat pool low in his stomach. “Yeah, that’s it,” he practically growled before fusing his mouth back together with Michael’s.

 

He started walking them back the short distance across the balcony, hands pulling at clothes, never breaking the kiss. They hit the doorjamb, bounced off it and stumbled inside, both of them now laughing, shedding their clothes with each step. They were naked before they tumbled down onto the bed, tangled together, kissing once more. Hands roamed eagerly over bare skin, driving their arousal even higher as they touched. Damien’s heart was beating a staccato rhythm in his chest and he could feel an answering one from Michael. He was starting to feel lightheaded, needing a breath when Michael broke the kiss, raising up slightly.

 

“I’ve wanted to do this since the first time I saw you without your shirt,” Michael said cryptically before sliding down Damien’s body. An instant later he was tracing the delicate lines of the large tattoo on Damien’s side with his fingers and his mouth.

 

“Fuck,” Damien breathed, the gesture more intimate and erotic than he was expecting it to be and he shuddered. He felt his cock throb as Michael continued his exploration and he wanted his partner inside him desperately.

 

He dropped a hand on Michael’s head, flexed his fingers. “Mike…” he panted, then sucked in a sharp breath as Michael’s tongue traced over another line. “I need you in me right the fuck now…” he ground out.

 

Michael raised his head at that and Damien saw him swallow hard, his eyes darkening with desire.

 

Damien tipped his head to the left, indicating the bedside table. “In the drawer.”

 

Michael leaned over and pulled open the drawer, which contained a tube of lube and a selection of condoms. No one could ever say Damien wasn’t prepared. For any mission.

 

Michael grabbed the lube and was reaching for a condom when Damien put a hand on his wrist.

 

“I know you know I screw around a lot,” he said to Michael. “But I’m always careful and I’m clean. I just…I wanna feel you, Mike.”

 

Michael nodded and tossed the condom back in the drawer. He turned back to Damien with a tiny smirk on his face.

 

“Look at you, wanting to make my first time special. Who knew you were such a romantic.”

 

Damien shrugged. “Well I am about to pop your cherry, so to speak,” he winked.

 

Michael rolled his eyes. “Thank you for making me sound like a sixteen year-old girl.”

 

Damien reached out and curled his hand around Michael’s rock hard erection, stroking it swiftly. “Oh, you’re no girl,” he growled.

 

“Shit…” Michael breathed, his eyes sliding partway closed at the sensation.

 

Damien released him a moment later and spread his legs, bending them at the knees, planting his feet against the mattress. Michael quickly settled between them and flipped the lid on the lube. He coated the fingers of his right hand, then hesitated. Damien saw a flash of realization cross his partner’s face, as it sunk in what they were about to do. Wanting Michael to relax, Damien chuckled.

 

“Tab A goes in Slot B, Mikey,” he joked, wiggling his ass against the bed.

 

The humor worked. Michael mock glared at him. “Shut up, you wanker,” he cracked back and Damien’s laugh in reply turned into a sharp groan as Michael’s finger suddenly slid inside him.

 

As expected, Michael was cautious at first until Damien encouraged him to go faster and deeper. Soon a second finger joined the first and not long after Damien was shifting his hips restlessly, his breathing quickening.

 

He nodded at his partner. “Now, Mike…” he panted.

 

Michael nodded in return and withdrew his fingers. He quickly coated his cock with lube and moved closer to Damien’s body, his hand curled around his erection. He pressed the head of his cock against Damien’s entrance and took a deep breath. He locked eyes with Damien for a moment before looking back down and watching himself push into Damien’s body.

 

“Oh fuck…” Michael whispered shakily.

 

And at that moment Damien didn’t care if he lost his macho card for thinking such a girly thought, but he was glad he was Michael’s first. That Michael wanted him to be. There wasn’t much in this hard, brutal life he lived that could affect him deeply and make him truly care about something. This was one of those rare things. He shouldn’t be surprised it was because of Michael.

 

Then Damien stopped thinking and started feeling as Michael filled him so completely, his body stretching around Michael’s thick length. He couldn’t stop the deep groan as Michael slipped in the last inch. Michael leaned over then, arms braced on either side of Damien and Damien reached up and grasped Michael’s biceps. He lifted his gaze and watched a myriad of emotions cross his partner’s face.

 

“Damien…”

 

His name was a hoarse whisper and he could feel Michael shaking under his fingertips, overwhelmed. “It’s okay…take a minute…”

 

He meant it for himself as well. It’d been nearly two years since he’d been with another man and it was hitting him hard. He curled a hand around the back of Michael’s neck and tugged him down.

 

“C’mere,” he breathed before capturing Michael’s mouth for a deep kiss.

 

The change in angle caused Michael’s hips to shift backwards slightly and he gasped sharply, pulling back from the kiss.

 

“Shit…” Michael squeezed his eyes shut and shifted his hips again, sliding further out of Damien’s body, dragging a groan from Damien.

 

“Yeah, that’s it,” he encouraged his partner. “Fuck me, Mike…”

 

And Michael did. He opened his eyes and rolled his hips forward, pushing back inside Damien, setting up a smooth rhythm.

 

Damien tightened his hold on Michael’s arms. “Harder,” he ground out. “I won’t break, Mike.”

 

Michael snapped his hips then and Damien let out a shout as Michael’s thick length pushed in even deeper. “Fuck yeah! Just like that…”

 

There was no denying that Damien liked having sex with women, but it was always so much better with another man. Women were soft in all the right places but men were hard and he got off on being surrounded by the strength and power of a man. All heat and muscle and giving as good as he got.

 

He lifted his legs then and wrapped them around Michael’s waist, changing the angle of penetration. He felt the head of Michael’s cock push into the spot deep inside him that made him see stars.

 

“Don’t stop, Mike…fuck, don’t stop…” he rambled.

 

And Michael didn’t, thrusting into him hard and fast now, Damien dimly aware of the sound of the headboard smacking against the wall.

 

“Christ, Damien…feels so fucking good…” Michael’s voice was high and tight, his eyes blown wide with arousal.

 

This first time was destined not to last, both of them too on edge. He could see it on Michael’s face, trying to hold back his orgasm and losing. Not wanting it to end so soon. Damien knew his own expression was a mirror image as he felt his orgasm building at an exponential pace with each thrust of Michael’s cock.

 

“Oh fuck, Mike…I’m gonna come…” he hissed, gritting his teeth at the powerful sensation.

 

And then his climax was upon him, surging through his body like a lightening storm. He threw his head back with a harsh cry as his cock surged and pulsed, long and hard, his release coating his chest in thick streams. He felt his internal muscles clamp down hard on Michael’s cock. Michael’s rhythm immediately faltered and Damien looked up and caught the instant his partner let go and gave in, his name falling from Michael’s lips in a hoarse shout as the ecstasy of release flooded through him. Damien groaned as his cock gave another surge as he felt Michael’s throb deep inside him again and again, filling him with the slick, wet heat of Michael’s release.

 

He pulled Michael down flush against him then, wrapping his arms around him and kissing him hard and fast as they shook through their orgasms. Michael returned the kiss just as hungrily until they both had to draw back for air, both their hearts pounding the same staccato beat.

 

Michael looked like a deer caught in the headlights and Damien had an instant of panic. Michael was already regretting this. He swallowed, trying to find his voice, but Michael beat him to it.

 

“Fuck…” his partner breathed. “Is it always like that?” Michael asked with a smile.

 

Shocked and relieved, Damien let out a bark of laughter. “Oh buddy, you have no idea what you have to look forward to,” he smirked.

 

Michael shook his head with a grin. “What have I gotten myself into?”

 

Damien wiggled his eyebrows and his ass. “Me, apparently,” he winked.

 

It was Michael’s turn to laugh. “Christ, you’re impossible.”

 

He shifted then, slipping out of Damien’s body and both men groaned at the sensation. Michael reached over the side of the bed and snagged his shirt, which he used to clean off both their chests and stomachs. Damien sighed as Michael pulled the sheet up over them both and settled on his side next to him. Suddenly tired from the emotional ups and downs of the day, he felt his eyes start to close. But before he gave in to slumber he once again curled his hand around Michael’s wrist. His partner seemed okay with everything right now, but that could all change once he was alone with his thoughts in the dark.

 

Michael glanced down at Damien’s hand then looked up at him steadily. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said, and Damien heard the promise in his voice.

 

But he didn’t let go.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Damien woke slowly, shifting as felt the first rays of the sunrise on his face, but forced himself to keep his eyes closed. He was afraid that last night had either been a dream or that it was real and that Michael would be gone again. He couldn’t handle another empty bed.

 

“Morning, sunshine.”

 

The familiar voice was a low rumble right beside him. Startled, Damien blinked open his eyes and found himself staring at Michael’s smiling face. His partner leaned in and gave him a lingering kiss.

 

“Told you,” Michael said. “I’m right where I want to be. No more running.”

 

Damien frowned slightly. “Are you sure? Now that you know who I really am?”

 

Michael’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

 

“You read my file.”

 

Michael blew out a breath and nodded. “I did. I didn't mean it as an invasion of your privacy. After your story about Daniel I just wanted to understand about that time in your life. About you.”

 

Damien was moved by Michael’s answer. He should have known his friend would not have had an ulterior motive for digging into his past, to use it against him somehow.

 

“I'm not proud of those years. What the Agency turned me into.” He glanced away, then back. “You're not going to look at me differently now that you know I'm a cold blooded killer?”

 

Michael shook his head. “Only with compassion for what you went through. That you were forced down that path after what Grant did. I'm sorry.”

 

Damien shrugged. “It's in the past. I'm trying to put it behind me.”

 

Michael nodded. “And you are, with every mission for 20. With the lives you’re saving. Don't let your past define you. You're a good man, Damien. “

 

Damien huffed out a breath. “I'm not sure about that. But I'm glad you think so.”

“I know so,” Michael replied strongly, then kissed Damien again. “Copy that?”

 

Damien chuckled. “Copy that,” he replied, then slid closer to Michael, bringing their naked bodies flush together.

 

He captured Michael’s mouth for a slow, deep kiss, one arm wrapping around his partner’s bare back. One of Michael’s hands dropped down between their bodies, curling around Damien’s growing erection. Damien hummed appreciatively, which turned into a curse when his phone began ringing sharply.

 

Damien broke the kiss and flopped over onto his back. “Fuck me!” he swore, grabbing for the offending object on the bedside table as Michael grinned. “This had better be fucking good,” he growled as he answered the call. “Sorry, Julia,” he then apologized and listened for a moment. “Okay. Yeah. We’ll be there.” He ended the conversation and tossed the phone back onto the bedside table before turning to Michael.

 

“Dalton wants to see us at the hospital later,” he told his partner.

 

Michael nodded then propped up his head on his hand. “Speaking of Richmond, she asked me yesterday about my leave.” He paused. “Have you made any plans?”

 

These last four days had changed everything between he and Michael, the start of something new, and there was no way in hell Damien was putting it on pause for the next several weeks while he went one way and Michael went another.

 

“Been a long time since I've been home,” Damien replied. “What do you say - you, me, couple of bikes and the open road of the west coast?”

 

Michael’s smile was as bright as the sun peeking over the horizon. “I say let's get the hell out of Joburg.”

 

THE END

 


End file.
